“Listen…uh…dude,” I said delicately removing his hand from my chest. “This is a stressful situation for both of us so I suggest you just calm down and we can both work together. I’ve got a torch right here in my kit.” Slowly, I leaned down and opened my bag. I could smell the alcohol on Derrick’s breath and the way he was jumping around, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had imbibed in other intoxicants too. “See,” I said now shining my torch and illuminating the empty tube. ”I’m a Spaceforce officer and an Eagle Scout. I’m always prepared. Semper Paratus, hoorah, hoorah.”
“Seriously?” Derrick muttered. “Hoorah?”
“I suggest we go this way.” I waved my torch in the direction Fogwat had disappeared and then clambered off across the tube. A rat scampered through the light chasing some other creature that looked like a cross between a worm and a bird. The creature shrieked as it was caught and the rat squeaked victoriously, adding to the already delightful ambience of our current environ. It was incredibly hot and my glasses kept fogging and slipping down my nose as the sweat drizzled from my forehead. My uniform shirt was not only doused in blue fluid but the armpits were so sweat stained they’d never again come clean. “A few years ago during my internship aboard the SS Columbia, I had to shuttle down to Talas VI after a major electrical storm had wiped out half of that planet’s services. Anyway, there were casualties stuck in this High-rise where all the lifts had gone out so the nurse and I had to climb up the stairwell about a hundred and twenty floors hauling all our gear and everything. I was in better shape back then because I had just graduated school and was working out every day. I could run 5 miles and bench press about a 100lbs but since I’ve been in space, I’ve been so busy, I barely have time to even walk to the Rec Deck. Anyway, the nurse and I were climbing when she started talking about her ex-boyfriend who…”
“Can you shut the fuck up!” Derrick screamed.
I shut up quickly. If he had been imbibing as I suspected, there was no telling what he would do. We continued walking in silence for about twenty minutes more when suddenly a bright blue light shown from the tunnel ahead.
“What’s that?” Derrick muttered as I switched off my torch to preserve the battery. The locker room stench became overwhelming.
“Human friends!” Fogwat squealed, except it wasn’t just Fogwat. He was standing there with about sixty of his brothers and an ever bigger Big Head was waiting for us with an outstretched hand.
“Give it to me,” Big Big Head demanded.
“Uh…what?” I looked to Derrick.
“The micrometer chip,” Big Big Head roared.
“Chip?” I repeated as a whole bunch of big heads tackled me, getting me all slimey now on top of everything else. “Uh…help…Derrick?”
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