Authors!

Do you want to join the Tag Team in Space? We are looking for new contributors and new characters to keep the story going.
Requirements: 300 - 500+ words in first person that tie into and expand the story line with any character of your choosing every 3 - 4 weeks.
Compensation: Features on this blog, facebook and other places.
Interested? Send Naomi an email at naomisweets at gmail.com.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Episode 15 - Derrick



My eyes opened to a dim light across the room. My head was cloudy and throbbing, and I could feel the knot on my head swelling by the moment. As my vision cleared more I could make out four large, hulking figures in the far corner of the room. They were aggressively involved in some sort of discussion, pushing and shoving each other as they spoke.

I tried to rub the bump on my head but realized that my hands were restrained against the wall. “What the hell have you gotten yourself into now Derrick?” I said under my breathe. Apparently not silent enough because the four figures suddenly turned around and looked in my direction.

One of the figures pushed his way through the group and made his way over to me. The smell coming from his body was overwhelmingly offensive and his face; scarred and grotesque, matched his odor. He grabbed my face in his partially gnarled hand and leaned forward.

“Chip! You give me chip now Human!” he demanded, drool oozing through his sharp fangs and down his jaw.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t have any chip pal.”

He was less than impressed with my answer as he threw a massive blow to my abdomen. I gasped in agony, and spit up everywhere.

He grabbed my face again in his hand and lifted my head; “You not as tough as you think. You will give me chip or you will die… Maybe both” he said, laughing as he looked into my dejected eyes. He turned back to his cohorts and began barking orders in whatever language they spoke.

By his demeanor and how the others deferred to him, I could only surmise that this was the infamous trader the Big Heads were worried about.

I tried to think hard about what my next course of action was going to be. I didn’t have my blade on me, and even if I did, my hands were chained to the wall so I couldn’t fight back regardless. What I wouldn’t give to see the doc right now or even that stupid little Big Head Fogwat.

I had to try and buy myself sometime to think of a way out of this.

I coughed up the bile that was welling up in my throat and called out to the trader; “Okay buddy, Okay. I can get you that chip. Just give me a minute to remember where it is” I said, hoping my answer would help me avoid another punch and allow me the time I needed to figure a way out of this mess.

The trader turned back to me and came closer; “Now, now. Don’t hold my actions against me. I sometimes lose my… how do you Humans say it, ‘cool’? You tell me what I need to know and I let you go. I promise” he said, with what I could only imagine was his version of a smile.

I looked at the others, weapons in hand, and I knew his promises were meaningless. I also knew that if I didn’t give them any information I was dead anyway. My choices were more than limited. I could really use your help now Jerry, where the hell are you?


Episode 14 - Jerry


I walked around the building.  It seemed like I trekked for miles until I found a service door that let me into a utility closet.  My ankle hurt, my ribs ached and I had broken a bunch of fingernails.  My uniform was filthy, my hair a mess and besides all that, I really needed a shower.  I hoped to find an Insta-cube where I could be quickly cleaned if I had time still remaining before my flight.  It would cost twenty-five dollars but if wanted to stay in the Force, I would need to look presentable before I arrived.
"Hey," a guy said as I limped up beside him at the desk where he sat watching the station's electrical connections.  "You're not authorized to be in here."
"You're telling me," I sighed.  "Just show me the way out preferably in the direction of the United SpaceLines terminal."  He pointed at a door that led up to a stair that I climbed with my last bit of energy.  I emerged in a foyer that opened to a gate that led to the security screening area.  "I'm here at last," I breathed getting into the queue though a woman glared down her nose at me.  She turned to her companion and whispered so I could hear, "It's a shame what Spaceforce is coming to."
I thought about telling her off, describing everything I'd been through from getting stuck in the lift with that strange dude Derrick.  I could even show her pictures I had taken on my iPhone 8 of Fogwat and his brood of new Fogweets.  I could describe in great detail my hike across the Martian plain and pounding on every door beneath the airdome but my flight was due to depart in twenty-minutes and if I didn't hurry, I'd miss my next connection on Altaris III.
I was almost through the screening, standing patiently through my pat-down as there was no way I'd walk through that radioactive scanner. 
"I'm just going to touch you right here," the screener said.  "Nothing personal, it's just my job.  Do you have anything in your pants besides your…uhem?"
"I hope not," I replied.  "Last I checked, it was just me."  Come to think of it, something in there was feeling quite strange.
"We'll have to go in back," the screener said.  "You've definitely got something moving that shouldn't be.  You need to remove your pants and let me see."  If this day could get any worse, I surely didn't believe and now I was down to fifteen minutes before my flight.  I went in the private back room and removed my shirt and pants to discover I had indeed picked up a stow-away.  It was one of the Fogweets who popped out of my boxer short.
"Hi Uncle Jerry," he called.  "I'm living with you!"

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Episode 13 - Jerry


I ran.  Derrick was hurt but if I didn't get out of there I'd be dead and sorry, I wasn't going to give up my life for a guy I met in an elevator an hour ago.  Fogwat bolted ahead of me, his giant head like a glistening beacon, leading the way out of this conduit, out of this elevator shaft and out of this spaceport terminal altogether.  We ended up topside in the red Martian dirt under an oxygen dome which blotted out the sky.

"Fogwat take Jerry home," my big headed friend cried gleefully.  "Fogweets so excited to meet their new uncle.
"
"Uh Fogwat," I protested though I followed him anyway as I hadn't a clue where the spaceport entrance might be.  When I arrived here I had come in through the shuttle landing bay which was nowhere to be seen from the ground.  "Can you get me back to the terminal, buddy?  I've got a flight to catch and at this rate, I'll have to go through security screening again.  I hate their machines.  I think they give off too much radiation so I need to opt out and request a pat down instead.  That'll take at least an extra thirty minutes so as much as I'd like to meet your Fogweets, I don't really have any time to waste."

"Sure Jerry," Fogwat replied not slackening his pace or turning to change his direction.  "Jerry, friend Jerry meet all Fogwat peeps and then Jerry eat dinner with us too."

"Fogwat please!" I begged.  "I really need to get to my ship.  It's my first posting as Head of Sickbay.  I've worked toward this for years after spending the first twenty in school.  I'm desperate here, buddy.  I can't lose this job."

"Not to worry, friend Jerry.  Fogweets meet, eat dinner and then dessert and after that tea.  Fogwat take Jerry to space shuttle plane, Jerry fly off to the stars.  Someday, Fogwat meet Jerry again."

"Ok," I agreed.  What choice did I have?  I was lost on mountain of Martian dirt.  I had to trust Fogwat as there was no one else around and after trusting Derrick, this is where I had ended up.  From a hole in the mountain of this dry dusty soil another big head suddenly appeared.  It was followed by a body that was identical to Fogwat's except for a giant extended belly.

"Fogwut!" Fogwat cried at the joyful reunion.  "Friend Jerry come for time just in the nick."

"I am ready," Fogwut panted, her hands on her belly which I realized was quivering and quaking.

"Oy vey," I gasped.  "Sweet Jesus," I cried and got to work with my medical kit.  In short order, Fogweets appeared; all four a carbon copy of their parents which I considered unfortunate for them.

"Fogwat so happy," Fogwat wept.

"Get over it," Fogwut snapped.  "Four diapers all need to be changing."

"Dinner time," Fogwat ordered.  "Fogwut get up and make food for Jerry."

"I'll cook Fogwat for dinner if he doesn't shut his mouth!"

It was time for me to go so I cleaned my gear and packed my kit thanking everyone around for their hospitality.  "I don't need dinner tonight, friend," I insisted.  "I'm not hungry.  In fact I just ate before getting into that lift an hour and a half ago.  I'll be on my way, thank you very much.  It's been fun, really it has and now I can tell everyone I delivered four Martian babies.  Yep," I started to back away.  "I think I hear Derrick calling me.  See ya later, everybody.  Maybe next time I visit Mars, or not."  I ran back down that hill as fast as my feet could fly in the direction I thought the spaceport had last been.  I ran until I was out of breath.  I ran until my ankle turned but I couldn't find that blasted building anywhere.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Episode 12 - Derrick

I can't believe I'm being dragged up by this Martian freak with his weird extendable arms. This was exactly the last thing I imagined would be happening at this point in the day when I woke up this morning.

Fogwat finally hauled us up into the conduit and I asked doc to pull out his torch so we could gain our bearings. 

Suddenly I heard some voices; "Hey shut that damn thing off now! Turn it off!" I whispered intently, slapping Jerry's hand down to try and get the light out.

"Wait, what? What the hell..." he began, but I quickly threw my hand over his mouth.

"Shhhh. Shut the hell up Jerry. Just be quiet, please!" I looked over to the Big Head, "Hey, dim that dome of yours right now, and keep your trap shut!"

Fogwat looked confused, but Jerry gave him a nod to obey, and the glow from his huge head went out.

"You two stay right here, and don't make a sound" I commanded as I began crawling along the conduit toward the noises I heard. 

The upper conduit to the tube was dark and even more wet and smelly than the actual tube. I forced myself to hold in my disgust as I tried to decipher the voices I was approaching. I could make out at least three voices, but was not certain if there were any more than that.

I approached the bend in the conduit and leaned my head out slightly to try and listen in better.

"You find them... You find them now and get that damn micrometer chip before I lose my patience with you!" a voice demanded. The other two voices made sounds of compliance and began moving in different directions.

I was unfamiliar with the main voice, but I had to assume it was the trader the head Big Head had told us about. I knew having the trader and his minions after us was sure trouble, so I tried to slowly back up down the conduit, back to Jerry and our Martian companion.

"Ow! Ow! Fogwat here, you step on Fogwat foot Derrick, say sorry."

I turned around to see the freakin' Martian standing right behind me. "You jack ass, I told you to stay put and shut the hell..." was all I could muster before I was tackled from behind. 

My head slammed against the wall of the conduit and then into Fogwat who then fell over backward crying.

I cleared my head, and spun around the face my attacker who had me firmly pinned down to the ground. My arms were trapped at my side under his enormous weight. I could smell his vile breathe and could see a dim orange glare in his eyes. Whatever this thing was, it was big, and strong, and pretty ferocious. 

I could feel its weight shift and I quickly swung my head to the side just in time to escape his lunging attack with his mouth. I screamed as I felt several sharp teeth sink into my shoulder. The creature clamped down on my shoulder with such an amazing bite force that I thought I would black out from the pain. I tried to wriggle my way lose from its jaws but it was locked in tight and the more I writhed the more the pain set in. 

I bucked upward and was able to bring my left leg up against what I hoped was the groin of the thing. It made a strange moan and released its bite on my shoulder. I tried to move but was still firmly pinned and now had an open wound which was bleeding pretty good. What the hell was I going to do?

My attacker leaned in close to my face and muttered; "Fuck you human!" in garbled English, and I could tell it was coming in for another bite. 

With all my strength I bucked my hips again and brought my knee up again. This gave me a brief window of opportunity as the creature rolled to the side a bit. My left hand gained some movement and I reacted as quickly as I could. With a quick flick I popped the release on my belt and slid the handle into my hand. 

As I slid the safety off and powered it on, the white glow from my plasma blade was a welcome sight for me. The nauseating stench of his flesh stung my nostrils, but I was relieved to be released from his grasp.

I wiggled my way from under my deceased attacker and scurried along the conduit as fast as I could move with my wounds. I barely noticed running into Fogwat and shoved him forward ahead of me. I could hear the mumbled voices of the trader and his other minion behind me and I knew we had but moments to escape. 

As I approached the Martian and the doctor something caught hold of my ankle and stopped me dead in my tracks. The only thing I could do was yell; "Run Jerry! Get the fuck out of here now! Run!"

Check back for Jerry's tale - Coming Soon!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Episode 11 - Jerry


“Jerry?” Fogwat asked as we followed Derrick yet again.  “Jerry hurting.  Fogwat wants to help.”
“Thanks buddy,” I replied feeling the depth of the cut under my rib.  It didn’t seem too deep but it probably could use a spray of sealant.  I didn’t want to stop and do it even though my rib was hurting like hell because if I did I sincerely doubted that Derrick would wait for me.  “I’ve got it Fogwat.  As soon as we get out of here, I’ll doctor up myself and  be fine.”
“Ok Jerry.  Fogwat love friend Jerry.  Fogwat want live in friend Jerry home.”
“Uh…great,” I muttered and stopped for a moment to lean against the side of the tube.  Then, I coughed which sent my sore ribs into a spasm.  “You can’t, Fogwat,” I gasped when I could find my breath again.  “I’m not going home.  I’m heading to a ship on the other side of the galaxy.”
“Fogwat know about that,” Fogwat insisted.  “Fogwat come to live on starship too. Fogwat bring wife, Fogwut, and four little Fogweet children.”
“What the hell is taking you guys so long?”  Derrick yelled from somewhere around the corner.  ”Hurry up or I’m leaving this place without you.”
“Coming,” I called and wiped at whatever was dripping down my face.  I noticed a trickle of blood on my hand as well as a lot of sweat.  ”Listen Fogwat,” I continued.  “You can bring your whole family.  I don’t care.  First we have to get out of this blasted tube.”  The trickle turned into a stream.  In fact, it was looking more like a river.   I was either bleeding to death or sweating like a whole drove of pigs.  I was dying, I surmised, in a stupid elevator tube, underground somewhere on the ridiculous planet of Mars.
“Jerry getting a shower,” Fogwat laughed.  “Jerry need to have a clean face otherwise Fogwut and the Fogweets will think Jerry very strange.”
“If I’m strange, what does that make you?” I snapped and then noted Fogwat’s sad frown and disappointed expression.  “Sorry buddy, no harm intended.  I’m just getting a little tired as I’m dying here.  In fact, my eyesight is dimming and I can’t hear much anymore due to the roar of blood rushing out of my brain.”  It occurred to me then, in one of my last cogent thoughts, to wonder where in fact this shower was coming from.  I looked up at the ceiling of the tube and discovered a giant hole in the roof from which water was pouring down right on top of me.  ”Up there!”  I gasped as I realized that’s where the noise was coming from as well.  I wasn’t dying or at least not yet although there was still the possibility that Derrick might kill me.  “Derrick, here’s the way to get out of this tube!”
Derrick returned from wherever he had been and scanned the overhead conduit with his torch.  ”Cool, there’s a ladder in there which we can climb.  Good job, Jerry.”
“But how do we get up there?” I asked.  ”The bottom of that conduit has got to be at least eight feet high.”
“Jump!” Fogwat yelled and leapt up into the air.  He flew straight into that conduit and then waved “Come on” with his stumpy arm.
“Fogwat,” I sighed.  “I can’t jump way up there.”
“Here friend Jerry.”  Fogwat extended a skinny leg.  It came all the way down to where I was standing so I grabbed my kit and hung on.  He pulled me up to the ladder and then he extended his leg for Derrick too.
“Big heads are also related to the species Cephalopoda Mollusca and can extend their siphon appendages quite long as you can see.  Grab ahold, Derrick.  We may finally get out of here.”
“Do I have to?” Derrick muttered and winced when he touched Fogwat’s slimey skin.

Episode 10 - Derrick


I ran passed the head Big Head and up the tube. I could barely see anything in front of me, but I needed to put some distance between Jerry, Fogwat and myself. I stumbled a few times over who knows what, but I was able to guide myself along the electro-magnetic guide rails the lift ran on. The dim glow from Fogwat’s head grew darker and then it was gone. I knew I only had a few moments to myself before they would catch up to me, and I knew that with three eyes, Big Heads had better than average sight, so I had to act fast if I was going to keep my actions a secret.

I dropped to my knees and began groping around in the dark. I felt across the ground, moving my way along the wall of the tube.

“Here we go… Got it” I said under my breath as my hands located what I was searching for. I found the release handle, turned it counter-clockwise and pushed in. The door to emergency access panel slid open and I quickly took a piece of restraining cloth from my bag and adhered it to the underside of the door. As I pulled the door closed and locked the handle I could see the dim illumination from Fogwat’s head growing brighter. I stood up and turned to face my pursuers.

“Hey Derrick, wait up man! Why would you just run off into the dark like that?” Jerry asked, as he approached me. He slumped over trying to catch his breathe.

“You should probably sit down a minute doc, your wounds look like they need some tending to.”

“Phew! You may be right. Thanks man, here you go” the doctor said, extending some sort of medical kit in my direction.

“Uh yeah, I’m good man. You get yourself stitched up there. I mean, you are the doctor aren’t you?” I replied, pushing the kit back at him and rolling my eyes.

What the hell did he expect me to do with that? I was in no mood to do triage, and I was certainly not in the mood for anymore of his sanctimonious speeches about killing those Big Head freaks. I just needed to be polite enough until I could lead them out of this tube and away from the chip I had hidden in the emergency access panel.

Jerry had no idea what the true value of the chip was or what it could really do, because if he did, he would not be trying to help these stupid Martians hand it over to that interstellar terrorist. If he knew what my contact had gone through to smuggle the chip out of that Martian research facility and into my hands so I could get it off this planet and to some place safe. It was supposed to be a simple hand-off in the lift, but then genius spilled that blue goo all over the ground and then everyone was slipping and sliding around. She barely had the chance to pass it on to me as we tumbling outside the lift. I don’t even know if she was even able to make it out of the terminal and to safety, but that was no longer my concern. I had to keep the chip safe until I could figure out a way to get it off this planet and into the hands of the scientists who could put its power to good use.

“Well, thanks for all your help there Derrick. Could you at least give me a hand standing up?” the doctor whined at me, putting his kit back in his bag, and extending his arm in my direction.

I had no idea how long it would take to get us out of this tube, but I hoped my temper would hold long enough. I reached my hand down and yanked Jerry to his feet.

“Fogwat arm feel funny, many tingles” the Big Head said, as we noticed his arm had almost grown all the way back in.

“Alright Fogwat, you got the light. Lead us out of here. But if I see one more of your Martian buddies, and they flash those teeth my way; I can promise that your arm won’t be what I cut off next time. And let’s see how long it takes for your entire head to grow back!”

“Let’s go people and things… We needed the get the heck out of dodge and we need to do it sooner than later” I said, ushering Jerry and Fogwat on.

I made a mental note of the location of the access panel door, and followed them onward.

Episode 9 - Jerry


Derrick stormed over to me leaving a trail of dead and mutilated big heads in his wake.  He was waving that plasma thing like I was going to be his next victim.  I scrambled to my feet and picked up my bag, holding it in front of me to block his advance.
“Listen, friend,” I called.  “I’m not your enemy.  I don’t know what the dude is talking about.  I don’t have any chips although I’m growing a giant one on my shoulder when it comes to you.  You didn’t have to kill all these guys.  If you weren’t under some kind of government protection, I’d have half a mind to arrest you for violating Allied Initiative 57-3, Protection of Lower Life Forms and Otherwise Unknown Species.”
“Where’s the chip!”  Derrick screamed obviously ignoring everything I had just said. I was about to protest again but I heard a whimpering voice calling my name.
“Jerry,” it pleaded. “Jerry, friend Jerry?”
“Fogwat!”  I turned to find Fogwat splayed on the floor.  He was missing an arm, his one remaining clutched at the empty shoulder socket, all three of his big eyes leaking with tears.
“Ah, Fogwat, hang on there, buddy.”  I knelt down beside him and fumbled through my bag.  ”I’ll give you something for the pain.”  I found a syringe and injected his empty shoulder with morphine, quickly calculating in my head his height, weight and dosage.
“What about his arm?” Derrick asked suddenly sounding contrite.  He had found either Fogwat’s or another dude’s limb and was holding it out to me.  “Can you sew it back on?”
“I don’t need to.  Big heads are evolved from planeria and can regenerate limbs fairly quickly.  It’s painful but temporary.  Are you feeling a little better, Fogwat?”
“Yes, friend Jerry.”  Fogwat sniffed and sat up.  He glared at Derrick.  ”You killed my arm.  My arm liked to push buttons.  My arm was my friend.”
“Listen Fogwat,” I said and helped him to his feet.  “Neither of us know anything about a chip.  Why does the Big big head want it?”
“Fogwat only ride lift and bring human guys.  Big big head need chip to pay off mean trader.”
“Who trader?  What trader?” Derrick demanded.  “Come on, Fogwat dude, tell me about that guy.”
I looked over to Derrick and we exchanged glances.  “What if there is another pair of humans stuck in a lift somewhere and Fogwat ended up with us by mistake?”   Derrick started pacing and stroking his chin.  His eyes flickered in the darkness as he considered the ramifications.  “I’m on it,” he said and started running down the tube.
“Not without me,” I cried and grabbing my stuff, bolted after him.
“Me too!”  Fogwat jumped up and lit up his head, a tiny little hand now sticking out of his shoulder stump.

Episode 8 - Derrick


“Light doc… Turn on the damn light please!” I yelled over to Jerry as I tried to fend off the onslaught of slimy hands groping for me all at once.

The smell in the air was almost more overwhelming than the amount of force being thrown at us by this group of Martians. I did my best to keep my footing as I fought off the creatures that kept coming one after another.

I was shockingly surprised to learn that the consistency of a Martian Big Head body was not unlike Earth creatures. Their bodies were thin and bony, their heads were hard like a traditional skull, except they had a large layer of what I can only assume is fat at the top of their heads like a whale might have. They also had several rows of sharp teeth in their mouths, as I came to find out the hard way. I thought of all the shows I watched growing up about sharks and how they had rows of teeth that came in yearly to replace the last set of damaged or missing teeth in their mouths. I wondered if this was an applicable similarity with the Big Heads, meaning that like sharks, their teeth were fragile and while formidable, also easily removable. I tried to process all these thoughts in a moment’s time and decide my best course of attack, as one lunged toward me, head glowing I could see his mouth agape and I reacted.

I extended my right leg in an instant, bringing the sole of my boot straight out at its face. I connected with its jaw, if these things even have jaws, and I could feel a hard crack. The Big Head squealed a moment as it came crashing to the ground and I knew something had indeed broken. Several sets of teeth oozed out of its mouth and onto the floor, and I knew I had found a weak point.

I quickly spun to connect a kick with the face of another Big Head trying to bite me, and the result was nearly identical. I fought off at least ten, but realized that there were too many more coming my way. I wouldn’t be able to keep up this effort for very long, and once they swarmed me as a whole I would be finished.

I turned to retreat and tripped over something and came crashing to the ground. I hit my head against the tube wall and became very dizzy. I could hear the Big Heads organizing and with my misstep, the glow from several dozen heads grew brighter in my direction. I tried to shake off the haze in my brain and get to my feet to defend myself. 


As I got to one knee I could see what I had tripped over in the first place. The glow continued to grow brighter, and the requests for help from Jerry grew more intense, and I knew I had to take care of this right now or else neither of us would make it get help.

I frantically pawed through my bag, throwing the contents everywhere. I needed one item, and I needed it now. The creatures began chanting in unison like a crowd at a cyberball match back at home when a penalty shot was taken for the win.

“Chip, chip, chip, chip…” they all began reciting as they approached. I had no idea what chip they were referring to, and if it was something the doctor had, I would have to hurry up and save him to find out.

Finally, I found what I was searching for, and not a moment too soon. I placed my thumb on the safety release and powered it on. The distinctive glow of my plasma blade stopped almost all the creatures right in their tracks. It was apparent that they had had some experience with this weapon and knew enough to fear it. They all began to back up slightly, even the ones on top of Jerry moved away slowly.

I held the blade out in front of me and turned side to side to try and ward off any Big Heads trying to sneak up on us. I cautiously walked over to the doctor who was gasping in pain on the ground. He had several opens wounds and the bruises to his face looked pretty rough, but he was conscious and functional from what I could tell. 

“My glasses Derrick, I need my glasses…” he muttered, and I was able to find them just off to the side. I placed them on his face while still trying to keep my eyes on the group surrounding us. Jerry suddenly seeing the large mass of creatures around us yelled; “Holy Cow!” and scurried backward across the ground. He only made it three feet, but with his injuries I was surprised he was able to move that fast at all.

“Listen buddy, you have to stay calm alright? These things are very dangerous and very intent on getting this chip from us, so stay calm, tell me where you have this thing, and I’ll negotiate our escape from this mess.”

“What chip Derrick, I don’t have any chip. I assumed government agent man would be the one hiding some chip or whatever.”

I looked at his bruised up face and wanted to bash it in after his smug response, but I remembered the large group of Martians bent on harming us and I chose to put the urge on pause for the time being.

“Well I don’t know of any chip doctor, so what is our next option? ‘Cause the way I see it, we are way outnumbered, and outmatched since you seem pretty useless in fighting circumstances, and I doubt that I can take them all out without a mild bit of assistance, so what do we do here doctor?” I asked, swiveling my eyes side to side so as not be snuck upon.

The doctor pulled me close to his face and placed his mouth against my ear. I was less than comfortable with the closeness our relationship had taken, but was very pleased with what had been whispered to me. I grabbed a piece of stone that was on the ground next to us and placed it in Jerry’s hand and gave him a nod. He nodded back his understanding and I leapt into action.

The squeals came one after another as I plowed my way through the group of Martians. The stench of seared flesh permeated the air in all directions. To some it would have been nauseating, but I knew what my blade could do, and to me the scent as intoxicating. One of ARCA’s finest inventions for agents in the field, a plasma blade glowed white hot and was truly an amazing source of controlled energy. It simultaneously opened and closed wounds as I cut a path straight through to the main Big Head. I tackled it, and held my blade out over its main eye on its enormous head.

While I was not truly a fan of the doctor, I was a fan of living, and his idea worked enough that we might actually get out of this mess alive.

“Now you call off your swarm, or gang, or school, or pod, or whatever the hell you call this group. You tell them to back off right now, or I and my blade will perform a real alien autopsy right here, right now! We don’t know anything about this chip you are looking for, so back off and let us be” I demanded, praying that this one Martian was important enough to the thirty or so others left, that they would indeed trade his safety for ours.

For the next minute as I held this creature down, I listened to a very elaborate tale of this chip and what its purpose is. I looked up in anger and disbelief across the tube at the doctor as the creature concluded; “…your human friend has many secrets from you Earth man!”

I sat back and with rage screamed; “Jerry?!?”

Episode 7 - Jerry


“Listen…uh…dude,” I said delicately removing his hand from my chest.  “This is a stressful situation for both of us so I suggest you just calm down and we can both work together.  I’ve got a torch right here in my kit.”  Slowly, I leaned down and opened my bag.  I could smell the alcohol on Derrick’s breath and the way he was jumping around, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had imbibed in other intoxicants too.  “See,” I said now shining my torch and illuminating the empty tube.  ”I’m a Spaceforce officer and an Eagle Scout.  I’m always prepared.  Semper Paratus, hoorah, hoorah.”
“Seriously?”  Derrick muttered.  “Hoorah?”
“I suggest we go this way.”  I waved my torch in the direction Fogwat had disappeared and then clambered off across the tube.  A rat scampered through the light chasing some other creature that looked like a cross between a worm and a bird.  The creature shrieked as it was caught and the rat squeaked victoriously, adding to the already delightful ambience of our current environ.  It was incredibly hot and my glasses kept fogging and slipping down my nose as the sweat drizzled from my forehead.  My uniform shirt was not only doused in blue fluid but the armpits were so sweat stained they’d never again come clean.  “A few years ago during my internship aboard the SS Columbia, I had to shuttle down to Talas VI after a major electrical storm had wiped out half of that planet’s services.  Anyway, there were casualties stuck in this High-rise where all the lifts had gone out so the nurse and I had to climb up the stairwell about a hundred and twenty floors hauling all our gear and everything.  I was in better shape back then because I had just graduated school and was working out every day.  I could run 5 miles and bench press about a 100lbs but since I’ve been in space, I’ve been so busy, I barely have time to even walk to the Rec Deck.  Anyway, the nurse and I were climbing when she started talking about her ex-boyfriend who…”
“Can you shut the fuck up!” Derrick screamed.
I shut up quickly.  If he had been imbibing as I suspected, there was no telling what he would do.  We continued walking in silence for about twenty minutes more when suddenly a bright blue light shown from the tunnel ahead.
“What’s that?” Derrick muttered as I switched off my torch to preserve the battery.  The locker room stench became overwhelming.
“Human friends!” Fogwat squealed, except it wasn’t just Fogwat.  He was standing there with about sixty of his brothers and an ever bigger Big Head was waiting for us with an outstretched hand.
“Give it to me,” Big Big Head demanded.
“Uh…what?”   I looked to Derrick.
“The micrometer chip,” Big Big Head roared.
“Chip?” I repeated as a whole bunch of big heads tackled me, getting me all slimey now on top of everything else.   “Uh…help…Derrick?”

Episode 6 - Derrick


 “I can’t believe this shit is happening on a day like today. Why am I always getting stuck in situations like this?” I asked emptily. I should have known better than to mutter even a single word out loud.

Doctor guy and smelly head couldn’t resist chiming in; “This is a rough day for me too. I’m supposed to start my new assignment today and I need to be there pretty soon. This is certainly not how I expected my day to go either” Jerry added.

“Fogwat like Jerry. Fogwat like Derrick. They like Fogwat?” the creature asked.

I had neither the energy nor the inclination to make new friends, especially with these two, but it appeared they were not going to play the quiet game too well, so I reluctantly responded.

“Okay Fogwat, you got that glow coming out of that big head of yours and you got the three eyes to see better, so you lead the way for us, got it?”

“Fogwat see. Fogwat show the way” the Martian said, walking up the tube ahead of us. Doctor guy looked over at me as if he needed my approval to move forward so I turned and began to follow Fogwat.

“So, Derrick… Tell me about yourself. Who are you, where you from, what brings you to Mars?” doctor Jerry asked me. It was very hot in the tube, my head was pounding and the stench from the thing walking ahead of us was nauseating, I did my best to ignore Jerry’s questions and forge on.

“You seem pretty wound up, anything you wanna’ talk about buddy?” he continued, obviously not taking the hint to shut the hell up.

I spun around and placed my hand against his chest. His heart was beating pretty rapidly which meant he was nervous, which let me know I was in control, which I liked; “Listen up Jerry. I am not your buddy by any means. Not your friend, not your pal and certainly not your buddy, so let’s be super clear on that point” I finished, trying to look into his eyes through the darkness.

“Hey Derrick, take it easy man. I know this is a stressful situation but you have to relax. We are going to get out of here soon and make our way to our individual destinations shortly, I promise. Now, if you need another pill or something for your anxiety, I’m a doctor so I have…” I quickly cut him off; “A doctor, I know Jerry. You mentioned that before. I don’t need any pills, or any new friends, or any of this conversation. Quite frankly, what I need from you is some silence so that I can think a bit and figure out how we are going to get out of this stupid tube before I lose my breakfast all over the place. No you and what’s his face…” I turned to gesture over to the Martian thing leading the way, but it was completely dark around us. I turned toward the direction it walked in but saw nothing. I turned the other way but again saw nothing. I could not see the dim glow of his huge head anywhere.

“Argh! What the hell? Now we lost the smelly thing, son of a bitch. You gotta’ stop nagging me Jerry, ‘cause I need to get the hell out of here, and that thing is our only source of light, so we gotta’ find it and use it to find our way, you understand me?” I yelled at Jerry, keeping my hand on his chest just to know where he was.

Episode 5 - Jerry


“Ah crap!” I cried as the lights flickered out.
“Oh fun!” the big head exclaimed.
“Ah shit!” the other guy declared as the lift began to heat up.  The air conditioning had sputtered to a stop leaving us all wet, dark and hot.  In a short period of time, it got humid and smelly in there too.  It was like a men’s locker room right after a game except a thousand times worse because of the big head’s preponderance of eccrine sweat glands.
“He has about forty times more than we humans,” I remarked.  “So it’s like having forty football players all crammed in here with us.”
“I think I’m going to be sick,” the other guy replied.
“It’s okay.”  I reached across the dark to pat his shoulder.  “I’m a doctor.  Just sit there and put your head between your knees if you start to feel woozy.  By the way, my name is Jerry.  If you need some water or something, just let me know.”
“Derrick,” he mumbled as the big head sat down next to him and tried to put his enormous cranium between his own knees.  “Any chance you’ve got some Excedrin?”
“Name, Fogwat,” the big head said or something along those lines.  ”Fogwat need Excedrin.”
“Okay, glad to be of service.”  I fumbled through my kit for some pills.  “Big heads are a fascinating species.  Some of your race even have telekinetic abilities.  Do you think you might be able to open the door for us, please Fogwat?”
“Push buttons,” Fogwat insisted when I handed him some meds.  He held the pills in his tiny fingers and studied them in the dark with his middle eye.  Derrick pinched the bridge of his nose and swallowed his own pills dry muttering something about needing an alcoholic drink.
“Just open the door, Big-Ass,” Derrick snapped.  “You can push all the buttons later after we get out.”
“Ok.”  Fogwat smiled and pointed his finger.  “Open, close.  Open, close.”  The door started swishing back and forth, giving us a glimpse of the metallic lift-tube and a dark set of tracks.
“I’m out of here.”  Derrick bolted during an opening phase.
“I’m out of here too!”  I grabbed my stuff, just barely making it through.  “Which way?”
Derrick studied the walls.
“That way,” Fogwat pointed, his big head hanging out of the lift.  “Fogwat come too.  Fogwat like human friends.”  Fogwat jumped from the car and headed up the tube, bioluminating his big head like a giant bobtail squid.  I glanced over at Derrick in the shadowy blue reflection.  Derrick shrugged.  Swallowing an Excedrin myself, I followed them both up the tube, hoping and praying I’d get to my gate on time.