Episode 10 - Derrick

I ran passed the head Big Head and up the tube. I could barely see anything in front of me, but I needed to put some distance between Jerry, Fogwat and myself. I stumbled a few times over who knows what, but I was able to guide myself along the electro-magnetic guide rails the lift ran on. The dim glow from Fogwat’s head grew darker and then it was gone. I knew I only had a few moments to myself before they would catch up to me, and I knew that with three eyes, Big Heads had better than average sight, so I had to act fast if I was going to keep my actions a secret.

I dropped to my knees and began groping around in the dark. I felt across the ground, moving my way along the wall of the tube.

“Here we go… Got it” I said under my breath as my hands located what I was searching for. I found the release handle, turned it counter-clockwise and pushed in. The door to emergency access panel slid open and I quickly took a piece of restraining cloth from my bag and adhered it to the underside of the door. As I pulled the door closed and locked the handle I could see the dim illumination from Fogwat’s head growing brighter. I stood up and turned to face my pursuers.

“Hey Derrick, wait up man! Why would you just run off into the dark like that?” Jerry asked, as he approached me. He slumped over trying to catch his breathe.

“You should probably sit down a minute doc, your wounds look like they need some tending to.”

“Phew! You may be right. Thanks man, here you go” the doctor said, extending some sort of medical kit in my direction.

“Uh yeah, I’m good man. You get yourself stitched up there. I mean, you are the doctor aren’t you?” I replied, pushing the kit back at him and rolling my eyes.

What the hell did he expect me to do with that? I was in no mood to do triage, and I was certainly not in the mood for anymore of his sanctimonious speeches about killing those Big Head freaks. I just needed to be polite enough until I could lead them out of this tube and away from the chip I had hidden in the emergency access panel.

Jerry had no idea what the true value of the chip was or what it could really do, because if he did, he would not be trying to help these stupid Martians hand it over to that interstellar terrorist. If he knew what my contact had gone through to smuggle the chip out of that Martian research facility and into my hands so I could get it off this planet and to some place safe. It was supposed to be a simple hand-off in the lift, but then genius spilled that blue goo all over the ground and then everyone was slipping and sliding around. She barely had the chance to pass it on to me as we tumbling outside the lift. I don’t even know if she was even able to make it out of the terminal and to safety, but that was no longer my concern. I had to keep the chip safe until I could figure out a way to get it off this planet and into the hands of the scientists who could put its power to good use.

“Well, thanks for all your help there Derrick. Could you at least give me a hand standing up?” the doctor whined at me, putting his kit back in his bag, and extending his arm in my direction.

I had no idea how long it would take to get us out of this tube, but I hoped my temper would hold long enough. I reached my hand down and yanked Jerry to his feet.

“Fogwat arm feel funny, many tingles” the Big Head said, as we noticed his arm had almost grown all the way back in.

“Alright Fogwat, you got the light. Lead us out of here. But if I see one more of your Martian buddies, and they flash those teeth my way; I can promise that your arm won’t be what I cut off next time. And let’s see how long it takes for your entire head to grow back!”

“Let’s go people and things… We needed the get the heck out of dodge and we need to do it sooner than later” I said, ushering Jerry and Fogwat on.

I made a mental note of the location of the access panel door, and followed them onward.

Episode 8 - Derrick

“Light doc… Turn on the damn light please!” I yelled over to Jerry as I tried to fend off the onslaught of slimy hands groping for me all at once.

The smell in the air was almost more overwhelming than the amount of force being thrown at us by this group of Martians. I did my best to keep my footing as I fought off the creatures that kept coming one after another.

I was shockingly surprised to learn that the consistency of a Martian Big Head body was not unlike Earth creatures. Their bodies were thin and bony, their heads were hard like a traditional skull, except they had a large layer of what I can only assume is fat at the top of their heads like a whale might have. They also had several rows of sharp teeth in their mouths, as I came to find out the hard way. I thought of all the shows I watched growing up about sharks and how they had rows of teeth that came in yearly to replace the last set of damaged or missing teeth in their mouths. I wondered if this was an applicable similarity with the Big Heads, meaning that like sharks, their teeth were fragile and while formidable, also easily removable. I tried to process all these thoughts in a moment’s time and decide my best course of attack, as one lunged toward me, head glowing I could see his mouth agape and I reacted.

I extended my right leg in an instant, bringing the sole of my boot straight out at its face. I connected with its jaw, if these things even have jaws, and I could feel a hard crack. The Big Head squealed a moment as it came crashing to the ground and I knew something had indeed broken. Several sets of teeth oozed out of its mouth and onto the floor, and I knew I had found a weak point.

I quickly spun to connect a kick with the face of another Big Head trying to bite me, and the result was nearly identical. I fought off at least ten, but realized that there were too many more coming my way. I wouldn’t be able to keep up this effort for very long, and once they swarmed me as a whole I would be finished.

I turned to retreat and tripped over something and came crashing to the ground. I hit my head against the tube wall and became very dizzy. I could hear the Big Heads organizing and with my misstep, the glow from several dozen heads grew brighter in my direction. I tried to shake off the haze in my brain and get to my feet to defend myself. 

As I got to one knee I could see what I had tripped over in the first place. The glow continued to grow brighter, and the requests for help from Jerry grew more intense, and I knew I had to take care of this right now or else neither of us would make it get help.

I frantically pawed through my bag, throwing the contents everywhere. I needed one item, and I needed it now. The creatures began chanting in unison like a crowd at a cyberball match back at home when a penalty shot was taken for the win.

“Chip, chip, chip, chip…” they all began reciting as they approached. I had no idea what chip they were referring to, and if it was something the doctor had, I would have to hurry up and save him to find out.

Finally, I found what I was searching for, and not a moment too soon. I placed my thumb on the safety release and powered it on. The distinctive glow of my plasma blade stopped almost all the creatures right in their tracks. It was apparent that they had had some experience with this weapon and knew enough to fear it. They all began to back up slightly, even the ones on top of Jerry moved away slowly.

I held the blade out in front of me and turned side to side to try and ward off any Big Heads trying to sneak up on us. I cautiously walked over to the doctor who was gasping in pain on the ground. He had several opens wounds and the bruises to his face looked pretty rough, but he was conscious and functional from what I could tell. 

“My glasses Derrick, I need my glasses…” he muttered, and I was able to find them just off to the side. I placed them on his face while still trying to keep my eyes on the group surrounding us. Jerry suddenly seeing the large mass of creatures around us yelled; “Holy Cow!” and scurried backward across the ground. He only made it three feet, but with his injuries I was surprised he was able to move that fast at all.

“Listen buddy, you have to stay calm alright? These things are very dangerous and very intent on getting this chip from us, so stay calm, tell me where you have this thing, and I’ll negotiate our escape from this mess.”

“What chip Derrick, I don’t have any chip. I assumed government agent man would be the one hiding some chip or whatever.”

I looked at his bruised up face and wanted to bash it in after his smug response, but I remembered the large group of Martians bent on harming us and I chose to put the urge on pause for the time being.

“Well I don’t know of any chip doctor, so what is our next option? ‘Cause the way I see it, we are way outnumbered, and outmatched since you seem pretty useless in fighting circumstances, and I doubt that I can take them all out without a mild bit of assistance, so what do we do here doctor?” I asked, swiveling my eyes side to side so as not be snuck upon.

The doctor pulled me close to his face and placed his mouth against my ear. I was less than comfortable with the closeness our relationship had taken, but was very pleased with what had been whispered to me. I grabbed a piece of stone that was on the ground next to us and placed it in Jerry’s hand and gave him a nod. He nodded back his understanding and I leapt into action.

The squeals came one after another as I plowed my way through the group of Martians. The stench of seared flesh permeated the air in all directions. To some it would have been nauseating, but I knew what my blade could do, and to me the scent as intoxicating. One of ARCA’s finest inventions for agents in the field, a plasma blade glowed white hot and was truly an amazing source of controlled energy. It simultaneously opened and closed wounds as I cut a path straight through to the main Big Head. I tackled it, and held my blade out over its main eye on its enormous head.

While I was not truly a fan of the doctor, I was a fan of living, and his idea worked enough that we might actually get out of this mess alive.

“Now you call off your swarm, or gang, or school, or pod, or whatever the hell you call this group. You tell them to back off right now, or I and my blade will perform a real alien autopsy right here, right now! We don’t know anything about this chip you are looking for, so back off and let us be” I demanded, praying that this one Martian was important enough to the thirty or so others left, that they would indeed trade his safety for ours.

For the next minute as I held this creature down, I listened to a very elaborate tale of this chip and what its purpose is. I looked up in anger and disbelief across the tube at the doctor as the creature concluded; “…your human friend has many secrets from you Earth man!”

I sat back and with rage screamed; “Jerry?!?”

Episode 6 - Derrick

 “I can’t believe this shit is happening on a day like today. Why am I always getting stuck in situations like this?” I asked emptily. I should have known better than to mutter even a single word out loud.

Doctor guy and smelly head couldn’t resist chiming in; “This is a rough day for me too. I’m supposed to start my new assignment today and I need to be there pretty soon. This is certainly not how I expected my day to go either” Jerry added.

“Fogwat like Jerry. Fogwat like Derrick. They like Fogwat?” the creature asked.

I had neither the energy nor the inclination to make new friends, especially with these two, but it appeared they were not going to play the quiet game too well, so I reluctantly responded.

“Okay Fogwat, you got that glow coming out of that big head of yours and you got the three eyes to see better, so you lead the way for us, got it?”

“Fogwat see. Fogwat show the way” the Martian said, walking up the tube ahead of us. Doctor guy looked over at me as if he needed my approval to move forward so I turned and began to follow Fogwat.

“So, Derrick… Tell me about yourself. Who are you, where you from, what brings you to Mars?” doctor Jerry asked me. It was very hot in the tube, my head was pounding and the stench from the thing walking ahead of us was nauseating, I did my best to ignore Jerry’s questions and forge on.

“You seem pretty wound up, anything you wanna’ talk about buddy?” he continued, obviously not taking the hint to shut the hell up.

I spun around and placed my hand against his chest. His heart was beating pretty rapidly which meant he was nervous, which let me know I was in control, which I liked; “Listen up Jerry. I am not your buddy by any means. Not your friend, not your pal and certainly not your buddy, so let’s be super clear on that point” I finished, trying to look into his eyes through the darkness.

“Hey Derrick, take it easy man. I know this is a stressful situation but you have to relax. We are going to get out of here soon and make our way to our individual destinations shortly, I promise. Now, if you need another pill or something for your anxiety, I’m a doctor so I have…” I quickly cut him off; “A doctor, I know Jerry. You mentioned that before. I don’t need any pills, or any new friends, or any of this conversation. Quite frankly, what I need from you is some silence so that I can think a bit and figure out how we are going to get out of this stupid tube before I lose my breakfast all over the place. No you and what’s his face…” I turned to gesture over to the Martian thing leading the way, but it was completely dark around us. I turned toward the direction it walked in but saw nothing. I turned the other way but again saw nothing. I could not see the dim glow of his huge head anywhere.

“Argh! What the hell? Now we lost the smelly thing, son of a bitch. You gotta’ stop nagging me Jerry, ‘cause I need to get the hell out of here, and that thing is our only source of light, so we gotta’ find it and use it to find our way, you understand me?” I yelled at Jerry, keeping my hand on his chest just to know where he was.

Episode 4 - Derrick

You have got to be kidding me. What the hell is going on this freakin’ planet? I can’t catch a break at all today.

I’m sleep deprived and hung over, and besides being stuck here in this hell-hole for an extra few hours, now I’ve been soaked in this nasty blue liquid and slammed in the crotch by some crazy blue lady. Accident she claims. Ha! It’s like when she started to slip she made a bee line right for my crotch and tackled me right out of the lift. I’ve been through some pretty gnarly fights in my time, but the last person I thought would be able to take me down was some overage Martian grandmother.

Man, I’m losing it. I gotta’ get the hell off this planet.

“Hey, what the hell man? What’d you push all the buttons for? It’s gonna’ take an hour to get to my terminal now!” I screamed at the annoying guy who spilled his blue goo all over everyone and everything.

“Probably a bit longer than that” the geek responded, gesturing with his misshapen head over to the creature in the corner with the even stranger looking head.

“Oh, what the hell man! I hate this freakin’ planet!”

I took a couple deep breathes and tried to calm down but my head was pounding and this stupidthing was staring at me with its three enormous eyes. “What the heck do they call these things?” I questioned the geek.

“Buttons are fun. Look, doors open, doors close. Fun” the creature said, attempting to engage me in a meaningless conversation.

“We don’t have a word for word translation of their language, and there are at least thirty eight known dialects, so we don’t knew exactly what they call themselves, but we just call them big heads.”

Ugh, I was already regretting asking this guy anything. “Sheesh, do all you nerds speak in long, drawn out sentences? It’s like talking to my dad or my sister Jeanie.”

I could see it in his eyes, the words were bubbling up again. I tried a preemptive strike by telling him to shut the hell up, but I was cut off by the lift coming to a sudden halt and slamming me into the wall in the process. 

“Now what” I exclaimed, rubbing the side of my head and checking for any cuts or blood.

As the lights began to flicker and the air conditioning began to sputter on and off I knew this day was only going to get worse...

Episode 2 - Derrick

“You’ve got to be shitting me with all these delays. I am not in the mood for this shit at all,” was all I could get out of my mouth as I punched the lift button for Terminal 4. Was this really how my day was beginning?

I’m four hours late for my shuttle to the Moon and now I’m delayed another three hours because of these stupid Martian dust storms. You’d think with all the brains at ARCA, the organization with hundreds of the best minds on Earth, one of their genius scientists would have come up with some simple invention to help navigate the launch of a shuttle off this dust-ball even if the wind was kicking up a little bit of sand. 

As the lift began traversing to my terminal I felt something annoying on my leg. I looked down to see the gnarled hand of some little old blue lady punching me in the thigh. “Watch your damn mouth boy,” was the best she could mumble as she began coughing violently. These Martians must have been breathing that sand in their lungs, or whatever they had in place of lungs, their whole lives because they all seemed to have that same cough no matter what age they were.

“I’m sorry mam. I didn’t mean to curse like that,” I replied to her, hoping my insincere apology would be enough to cease her incessant pawing of my leg. 

“It looks like we’re all stuck here for a bit, doesn’t it?” came from the peanut gallery on the lift. Some geeky looking guy who was rubbing his hand decided to chime in all of a sudden. 

I wasn’t in the mood for any further conversation with any of these people so I grunted a dismissive retort and pretend to look for something in my gear bag. How did I know this guy wasn’t going to let that be the end of it though? It was almost like something inside of him was forcing him to start a conversation with me when I had a thousand other things on my mind. I hit the button for Terminal 4 repeatedly, hoping to end this encounter as quickly as possible, but it was too late, he spoke again.